🧠 How to Say What You Feel (Without Overthinking It)
– A simple guide to emotional expression for overthinkers –
Have you ever tried to tell someone how you feel…
…only to spiral into “What if they think I’m too much?”
…or “Maybe I’m just overreacting.”
…or worse — you just stay silent?
You’re not alone. Expressing emotions clearly is a skill — and it’s one we’re rarely taught. But the good news? You can get better at it.
❓ Why Is It So Hard to Say What We Feel?
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We second-guess our emotions. (“Am I being dramatic?”)
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We fear judgment or rejection. (“What if they don’t care?”)
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We were taught to suppress feelings. (“Don’t cry. Don’t complain.”)
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We don’t have the right words. (“I feel... uh, weird?”)
Most of us were never given the emotional vocabulary to make sense of our own internal world — so it gets stuck inside.
🔍 Step 1: Identify What You Actually Feel
Start by moving beyond vague words like “bad” or “fine.”
Try these prompts:
“Do I feel hurt, or do I feel rejected?”
“Is this anger… or fear dressed as anger?”
“Am I lonely, or do I feel unseen?”
The more specific, the better. Use an emotion wheel (yes, it’s a real tool!) to expand your emotional vocabulary.
💬 Step 2: Use the ‘Feel + Because’ Formula
Once you’ve identified the feeling, try this format:
“I feel [emotion] because [reason].”
Examples:
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“I feel disappointed because I hoped we’d spend more time together.”
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“I feel anxious because I’m not sure where I stand.”
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“I feel left out because I wasn’t invited.”
This format keeps the message focused, grounded, and non-blaming.
🛑 Step 3: Pause Before You Over-Explain
Overthinkers tend to talk themselves out of their own truth.
You don’t need a full essay to justify your emotions.
✅ Say it simply.
✅ Let it land.
✅ Breathe through the silence.
Silence doesn’t mean you were wrong — it means your words are settling in.
🧘 Final Reminder: You Don’t Need to Be Perfect
It’s okay if it comes out messy.
It’s okay if your voice shakes.
It’s okay if you cry.
What matters is you showed up.
Emotions are meant to be felt and expressed — not buried under logic and shame.
💬 Let’s Talk
When was the last time you struggled to say how you really felt?
What held you back — and what helped you finally speak up?
Share in the comments. You’re not alone. 💙
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